My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
