thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize