People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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