me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
