Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
