I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
