What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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