What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
