I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
