This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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