is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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