The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
