Can Purell be used as lube?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
