Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
