i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm bleeding and have questions
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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