It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize