Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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