this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just pee around me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
