who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
