Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
