How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize