I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
