I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
