Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
