Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
