I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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