his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
