I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
