sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have demons in me.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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