I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize