we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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