i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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