he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
