it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize