'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
high people should be assigned attendants
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
