I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
