Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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