im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
