Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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