Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
