I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
