Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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