Me too!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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