Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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