you guys were way drunker than both of me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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