Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
