At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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