His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
