Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
