we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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