hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
