So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
