so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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