I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
