I just made out with a guy for $7.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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