those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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