There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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