Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
