seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
