how can u be prego again
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize