smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He has the fingertips of a God
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