So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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