remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
