Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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