i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
