You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
