i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
