Where did you get a picture of my penis
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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