i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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