We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Alive.
So much puke
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
