i need an iv and a liver transplant
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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