I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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