At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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