I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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