remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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